I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
