I feel like abortions should bother me more
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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