Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tails408321 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

Fav 9 3218 870
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

Fav 39 1362 5822
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

(1-409): View more from Texas

How are you texting me from 1998?

Fav 27 9141 1641
share tweet
(989): View more from Michigan

I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.

Fav 13 4658 1609
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...

Fav 6 2019 803
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

Fav 3 1126 694
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

Fav 7 2243 716
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

My throat is burning

(1-360): View more from Washington

Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass

Fav 0 13 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her

Fav 0 73 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT