I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
