if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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