people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
