Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
