How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
