carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
