the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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