You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Less talking, more tequila
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
