hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize