HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
