i barfeds in our rink
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
