just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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