Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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