It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
