No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
