So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
