I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
