she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
