glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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