You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
