So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
