At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
