I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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