Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
