Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
