youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
