I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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