I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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