Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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