My liver just broke up with me...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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