You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
