i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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