Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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