is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
4 words: hood of his car
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
