You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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