she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
