if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
...so i touched it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
