why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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