Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize