Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
