i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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