Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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