i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
