No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
