How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
