Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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