FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
