Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
