haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize