We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
