Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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