so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
