just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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