You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
