I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
wow bdsm is so cute
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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